It was very challenging to cram as much as I could into this video, and still there's so many wonderful and dear memories that didn't make it in. I had a few times making this that tears creeped up in the corners of my eyes, but a few days before his party on the 7th, I was finalizing it and the tears came and I couldn't hold them back.
I can't believe how fast it went. I learned so much being his mom over the last 18 years. William, my sweet firstborn, you made me a mom, on Mother's Day. Learning I was pregnant at 20 years old, I felt pretty uncertain about how I would take care of you and provide for you and give you everything I could, but I knew I would love you and do whatever it took. When you were born, and I saw your little face, I fell in love so fast, so hard, so completely.
You have been an amazing kid. Your imagination, curiosity, your goofiness, you brought a lot of joy. You cuddled me and wanted me to hold you until you were about 10/11 years old. You just have a kind heart. I remember one year you wanted to buy a coat for a girl at school that you saw standing in the snow, cold, without a coat. So we took you to get her a coat, and she was thankful, because her parents hadn't gotten her one. You were kind to the baby birds you found each spring out along the borders of the fields around our then budding neighborhood. We took care a quite a few and sent some to the rescue.
You worked so hard growing up. You helped with chores, worked on getting your black belt, and studied along with me to make the Idaho William videos. Sometimes, I was too hard on you. I wanted so much for you to know you're loved, supported, and to also be independent, graduate from school and be successful, to always have goals and go after what you dream about in life. I've always seen this massive potential in you. You rarely gave me gruff until you were about 12-14/15, and that's pretty normal, and then it shifted and you grew more on all levels and we started becoming friends.
Now, when I listen to you talk, it's so empathetic, so mature, so thoughtful, aside from your dark sense of humor. I know you doubt yourself a lot. I know you have had your own dragons to slay, thoughts of self-doubt, but honey, you're smart, intuitive, caring. You feel a lot and I know you think you struggle to feel, but I think you feel so much that it can be overwhelming at times. I've been witness to the big heart inside of you, I've been on the receiving end of the love you have. You're going to be okay, you're going to do well at whatever you decide to do going forward.
Keep your mind and heart open and connected to each other, keep a healthy sense of curiosity about yourself, others, life, and keep your body moving. Those are keys to success and joy. Ask your heart and listen, let it lead you. Your ego will try to protect you, but your heart always knows what's best for you. You have turned out to be such a amazing young man, and I'm looking forward to watching you grow into your adult years now. I'm always here for you. I'm always going to love you and believe in you.
Written with the intention to preserve my own thoughts and memories, and to pass down to my children.