The skeletons are out of our closet this year and we're bad to the bone! This year is Stella's first year trick or treating. Last year she was still so tiny, and I carried her around in a baby pouch strapped to me to keep her warm. At first she helped me hand out candy at the door and she was having fun, but when we took her to the neighbor's house, and she knocked on the door and discovered she could get candy her expression was priceless. She lit up. I stayed home, sitting out front with my dad, grandpa, and stepmom. Since I broke my toe a couple of days ago, I'm not walking very well. It's still aching pretty good. I played my favorite curated Halloween song list and enjoyed all the kiddos running amuck outside.
Halloween is my favorite. October kicks off the most beautiful month, then the holidays begin with Halloween. October is truly the best. I made chilli and cornbread as usual for our Halloween dinner. Only this time I added a bit of cinnamon, aged rum, and vanilla to my seasoning, and everyone really liked it. Clara is getting so big. She skips about, running form house to house now. Gone are the days when she was a teeny toddler and scared to go trick or treating. It's fun to see her open up and have fun. She's usually so shy and closed up, but she feels at ease in her surroundings and is confident walking around the neighborhood. She was very good to Stella, helping her along at times. Stella is pretty independent though, and it only took her once to figure out what this trick or treating stuff is all about. I wasn't going to do Halloween this year. I didn't feel like decorating or dressing up. I didn't feel like doing our normal photoshoot. However, after much poking, prodding, and pleading from Clara and even from Jack, who usually doesn't care much about my decorating and dressing up but goes along with it, was pushing me to do it. It's been so difficult since my mom died. This was her favorite time of year, too. I;m missing her terribly, and I just didn't have the oomph to want to do anything. Once we got going though, it felt good to have the house cozy and decorated. It was fun to see the kids enjoying their costumes, and I'm happy to have photos of the kids. Memories and traditions are so important. They give more meaning and purpose, and now I don't want to imagine how worse off I'd have felt if I hadn't done anything. I'm sure mom would be happy to know I didn't give up on this, and jsut mope around being sad. Even if I am sad. She would love to see her grandbabies happy, smiling, having fun, and taking lots of photos for her to see if she was here. And knowing this time of year is the best time of year for spirits to connect, as the veil is thin, she's on my mind even more, if that's possible with as much as she is already. I have no doubt she spent time with all her grandbabies today, looking over them. I miss you, mom. Love you to the moon and back.
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We've always enjoyed hitting up Kuna Days. We've missed a year here or there due to a vacation once and another time was after Clara had been born, but for years we've been joining in the evening fun to watch the fireworks. This year I was working/volunteering with the local Republican party booth. I'm the district secretary and a precinct member alternative. I love working with Valerie, she's the Chairwoman over our district, and Brian, the vice chairman, as well as all the volunteers that came to the booth over the weekend. We spent a lot of hours out in the heat for a couple of days. We got to talk with people about getting more involved with the school board meetings and critical race theory, as well as discussing the candidates running for governor. I started off the morning with roller skating around with the American flag. Great way to start the day. Then I did the live videos for our raffles through the day for the two days I worked the booth. Proud patriot skater Goin' live to do the raffles Our first trip to NV was a coupe of days. We left on Friday, July 30th and drove back home on Monday Aug. 2.
We were supposed to be there for a quick visit and to grab a Uhaul to get some things that grandma and mom wanted me to have. The kids all had a great time playing. It was very sweet to see all the cousins together. My girls with my sister's kid and my brother's kid. The only kid missing was William He couldn't make it on this trip. It was good for mom and grandma to see all these kids together. There was a lot of playing in in the front and back yard, as well as the sun room. When I started taking photos of everyone on the porch out front I got an idea for a book. Grandma wants to sell her home. It's been in the family for 60 years. There's so many memories here. I thought it'd be cool to make a photo album book with a collection of front porch photos over the 60 years. It'd make an awesome gift for all of the family, and we could even gift one to whoever the new owner will be. Mom and i spent a lot of time sitting in the garage going through old boxes of her stuff and grandma's stuff. Grandma came over to visit, too and sat out there with us. It was very smoky out. There's a ton of fires going on in multiple states, but Tahoe had been on fire while we were there. On Sunday, we had a BBQ picnic near the river. At least 1,500 people showed up to the Meridian St. Luke's Hospital today to protest against the vaccine mandate. Healthcare workers are being coerced into taking the clotshot in order to keep their job. Last time I checked, we all still live in America. Even if it's feeling more and more dystopian by the passing weeks and months into this war.... er, excuse me p(l)andemic. The real minority in America is the individual and the individual needs to have their rights protected. This is a human rights issue. No one should be forced to do a medical procedure in order to have a job/career. My heart is filled with overflowing gratitude for every single person that showed up. They are standing, and speaking up for their rights. They're supporting others to take a stand for their rights. They aren't backing down to the tyranny and take over I applaud you all. Do not give up. Today my tank was refilled, my heart sparked at the outpour of compassion. This is true compassion, when others come together in order to protect, defend, and support not only their rights, but the human rights of others. We must always have the ability to make a choice when it comes to bodily autonomy, otherwise, is this even the United States of America anymore? Vaccine mandates violate bodily autonomy and they violate our inalienable rights. *photo from March 2020*
Aww, it's her first p(l)@ndemic. Okay, so I never posted this and no one has seen this image until right now. In fact, I never even looked at it since I snapped it last March until today. I took it for me, for her, and I didn't want it drug through the mud and shit going on over the last year. I had a baby during this craziness. I saw it coming before I had her, and I told my husband to stock the house, because people would lose thier damn minds and we didn't know what would play out or what the virus would do. That was in early January last year about 5ish weeks before having her. I suffered with a very traumatic surgery to have her, lost copious amounts of blood and my oxygen levels dropped to organ failure status and was put on oxygen, while I was puking on the OR table from HG. I have not shared or written my birth story....yet. I was extremely ill when I had her. Then I nearly escaped death again when I had to be rushed in to the ER for gallbladder surgery, because C0v!d policies, the hospital and insurance wouldn't let me be seen for surgery until it was life threatening and boy did they let me get to that point. So say what you will, but at this point I don't have any fucks left to give what anyone might say about this image. I took it when I felt like crap and couldn't hardly get myself up without help during a time the world was losing it's damn collective mind.... and unfortunately it still is. I had the decency to respect people's feelings then and not share it as to not offend anyone, but a year later as I go through images of her, I feel ready to share something I thought was funny and helped ease tension at the time in the moment. Don't get me wrong, in March last year I was feeling very hesitant about what to expect from the virus and really had to check myself to make sure I knew where my faith was, and it wasn't in the media. That's for damn sure. I had PPA/PPD during this time, not fun during the mass hysteria. My baby girl is brave. The first thing I told her when I saw her was happy birthday, my brave little girl. She's brave and she's a fighter. I know this because her and I survived a hell of an ordeal. She chose a time to be born into this world in the middle of all this craziness. She will always be brave. She has a mission in this life, as we all do. Now it's my turn to do something brave and that's to keep working on my healing. Part of that looks like me taking time to look at old photos from when I had her. I have yet to look through photo and video of her from birth through the first 6 months really, and not much even since the 6 month mark. I haven't been able to bring myself to do it. It stirs up so many emotions that are hard to deal with and process. I stopped sharing my health journey from HG after I had her, because I just couldn't anymore. I'm going to start trying to take bigger steps this year. Looking at this picture as I opened up old files, I can't help but wonder what kind of future is in store for her, for all of my children, for your children. I can tell you it has been easier standing up to tyranny than it was to face the personal traumas I went through. I pray for a future for our children to live in a free country with liberty held up and honored. I pray for a future where people trust their amazing immune systems and aren't afraid of human connection. I pray for these babies being born that aren't getting normal development experiences by seeing faces. I pray for all of our children that they will be able to heal from all the fear that's been dumped on them, I pray for all of us to recover from this. More has been lost and devastated not by a virus, but from the propaganda and political theatre around a virus. To my brave little one. I love her beyond words. |
Everything Allison Attitude 2021
Written with the intention to preserve my own thoughts and memories, and to pass down to my children. Archives
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