Milestone photos of Stella 1 week to 3 months old. 
​Postpartum notes

;weet girl, you're here! You eat all the time and just want to be close to mommy. You're first day home was February 15th. It was overcast and sprinkling outside. In the first 9 days we had some concerns with jaundice. We were worried as we went through a lot with your big sister, Clara, when she had jaundice. However, we were able to get your bili levels down to an acceptable range by the time you were 5 days old. 
I had milk coming in quite a bit when we were at the hospital, but it quickly dwindled, so since this wasn't my first rodeo with nursing and expected I'd have trouble with low supply issues, I had set up an appointment with our lactation consultant, Lynelle, but she was busy so her assistant came over. Sharina and I have had some previous interactions which we both got a kick out of. When I was pregnant with Clara, Sharina was introduced to me through my friend and doula, Chelsea, she was learning to become a doula. So she came over to the house with Chelsea one time when we had an appointment. 

Then, a little while later, Clara was getting speech therapy sessions at home for a year, and Sharina was her case worker for her sessions. 

So when Lynelle told me her trainee would be coming over for our appointment and told me her name, I knew it had to be the Sharina I know. Sure enough it was her. We had two visits day five and day nine. You weighed 7 lbs 5.5 oz. We still needed to get your weight up 9.5 ounces to get you to your birth weight, so we increased your formula to supplement for what I wasn't producing in breast milk for you. 

At nine days old we had a relaxed  photo session  at home with my friend, Edith. 

I love watching your sleep and cooing over your expressions. 

Through your first month
Day 5, Feb. 17: Your first pediatrician appointment and we had to go straight to the hospital to get your bilirubin levels checked after seeing your doctor. I was very worried about taking you out with Covid going around.  I also didn’t feel well, as I had pneumonia, lots of swelling from surgery, and no sleep.

Your umbilical cord fell off at 7:30pm on Feb. 24, 12 days old

Day 15, Feb. 27: Had your ECG, echocardiogram, to check for heart problems. You were so upset the entire time, but your big sister really tried to comfort you. Mom got XRAYS today too to check on my status from pneumonia. Everything looked okay on your ECG. You have a heart murmur, and we will check it again when you’re four months old.

Day 16, Feb 28: Sharina comes to visit for a weight check and you are up to 7lbs 10.5 oz

Day 19, March 2: We saw you pediatrician again for a weight check and you were up to 7lbs 14.4 oz. we did it, just about at your birth weight. We found the sweet spot for your supplement needs with formula in between breastfeeding.

Day 27, March 10: Weight check at Lynelle’s office and you’re up to 8.7lbs.

I'm still only getting about 2 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. Baby girl, let's get some sleep soon. 

​The world is turning upside down from the Covid pandemic. 

Some developmental milestones:

• Make jerky, quivering arm movements
• Bring hands near face
• Keep hands in tight fists
• Move head from side to side while lying on stomach
• Focus on objects 8 to 12 inches away
  
• Trying to get vocal with sounds
• Attempting to smile, but can't tell if it's from tummy yet ( gas/poop) at times

I'm struggling with PPD/PPA and PTSD. 

April 12, 2020 ( pics taken 4-11)

By week 5, March 17 you are definitely smiling. You're getting more of a voice, too
. 
March 24, 41 days: We had a teleconference video chat with your doctor to check on your skin problems. You are covered head to toe in seborrheic dermatitis. We had to start changing your formula to see if it helps. 

March 25, 42 days: You're up to 9lbs 3.5 oz at your weight check with Lynelle. I had to see a GI dr for pain and ongoing nausea and vomiting. HG did a number on me. Idaho also declares lockdown today because of Covid19. The world is going crazy, baby. It's been so overwhelming to bring you into this world at a time of crisis. You're a brave soul to choose to come now. I love you so much. Thank you for being such a blessing to our family. It's dark times out in the world, but you, my precious baby, are a joy and light in our home. 

March 30, 46 days old: I needed an ultrasound on my gallbladder. I was in so much pain and so so sick. 

March 31, 47 days: Emergency appointment with dentist, my teeth are in bad shape from HG and I need to have dental surgery very soon. 

April 2, 49 days: I ended up in the ER at 1 am. I was in tears and passing out. I was throwing up a lot and had horrendous pain. I had to go alone, because of the pandemic and new hospital policies. I had emergency surgery today to remove my swollen, infected gallbladder. 

April 6, 53 days: Started a rx wash to help your seborrheic dermatitis. You had an in person appointment with your pediatrician for your 2 months well baby check. You are up to 9.11 lbs and are 55cm/ 21.6" long

April 8, 55 days: I have root canal surgery on a tooth that's badly affected from pregnancy. I am only 5 days post op from gallbladder surgery and really not feeling well. 

​April 10, 57 days: William moves in with his dad.

I'm struggling a lot still with PPD/PPA and PTSD from HG. I;m doing the best I can, but I'm exhausted. I love you immensely. Your big sister is over the moon, head over heels in love with you, and you watch her. You light up seeing her. 

April 19, 2 mos and 1 week old. You meet your great grandparents today. It was your uncle's bday get together. We almost didn't go to my dad's house for the BBQ. I have been protective of you and our family as we continually evaluate decisions and outings during this time. But I realized it hadn't been since November when we last saw family or friends. Clara hadn't had interaction with other kids. and honestly, I just needed to get out of the house. I have already been so isolated during the pregnancy and this postpartum time. Covid19 hasn't helped this vulnerable, tender time of the fourth trimester. It was so good for me, your dad, and your big sis to get out of the house. Months of isolation, and it felt so nice to go to my dad's house and be around family.  I was concerned in the back of my mind, but we're all healthy. No one got sick. And no neighbors turned us in. It's really strange times. I remember walking into my dad's house, on this beautiful, sunny day, and feeling like it was almost criminal to be leaving the house. This whole Covid pandemic has everyone on edge, the media is always enforcing the NLP to get us all to stay home, and mayors and governors are encouraging people to call in people that break the lockdown rules. But we all needed this get together so much. 

I haven't been great about taking notes lately. I'm just trying to focus on getting sleep and meeting my basic needs with eating, drinking, and healing from surgeries. We're finally getting more sleep. You sleep great. You take naps. I still struggle with getting enough sleep, but in May I started averaging about 5-7 hours of sleep in a day, not all at one time, but it's so much better than the 2-3 hours I was getting for months, even before you were born, because I was so sick. 

I'm still struggling with PPD/PPA and PTSD from HG. 

You are amazing though, my darling bay. You are in awe of your hands. You have started drooling a lot and we can feel where your first teeth will eventually pop up. 

​May 9, your big brother turned 16. We said screw the lockdown and invited family over on May 10th for William's bday/your great grandmother's birthday ( May 15)/ and Mother's Day all in one get together. Let's jsut call it calculated risk. Good to know we have decent neighbors that didn't' report us for having our backyard party. Yep, big brother wants us all to tattle on each other if we leave our homes or break lockdown rules. it's the crazy world we're in at the moment. But those are thoughts for another post. 

You love when we go for walks outside. You smile and are content for some time. You like looking around.

Developmental Milestones:

• Raise head and chest when lying on stomach
• Raise head and chest when lying on stomach
• Support upper body with arms when lying on stomach
• Stretch legs out and kick when lying on stomach or back, we call it "running", you get excited and kick your legs a lot, and have been doing this for some time now.
• Push down on legs when feet are placed on a firm surface
• Open and shut hands
• Bring hands to mouth
• Grab and shake hand toys
• Follow moving object with eyes
• Watch faces closely
• Recognize familiar objects and people at a distance
• Start using hands and eyes in coordination
• Begin to babble and to imitate some sounds
• Smile at the sound of parents' voices
• You coo and squeal a lot! I LOVE hearing your voice! You babble and “talk” to me
• You smile so much. It’s a huge, take over your whole face, light you up, melt anyone big smile. 

 We were having a lazy day at home while it was overcast and cool outside. I wanted to get some video and photos for the week. We danced, played with puzzles, and watched the newer version of Mary Poppins. Clara loves dancing to the sweepers musical scene. She has since we first watched the movie when it came out back in 2018. 

 Stella is making more sounds and coos. She smiles a lot. Clara and Stella both adore one another. 

 Today ( 5-18-20) marks 13.6 wks since Stella was born. We're still in fourth trimester, still considered the postpartum time frame, and it's flying by. She's changing so fast. 

****************
 The vids and pics are from May 18, but the blog was written today, May 30th:
I couldn't sleep so I got to sorting through some pics early this morning. These are recent shots. I'm all over the place with my photos and vids. I suppose it'll be that way for a while. I don't take a lot of time to sit down and go through everything anymore. But at least I'm feeling like working on something. Having been in a slump with a lot since Stella was born, it feels good when I take time to do something I enjoy like taking photos or putting together a blog for our family site. I feel like some of the PPD fog is lifting a bit at times. I'm enjoying Stella even more. I'm finding myself wanting to attempt to get back into the swing of things, but I have to take things in small steps, because I'm still not feeling fully immersed in everything.. I mean, I guess just still working on getting back to feeling like me.
I hope the kids will enjoy this website someday when they're older and can look back.

​

.Today is HG Awareness Day

 Hyperemesis Gravidarum: a potentially life-threatening pregnancy disease that causes malnutrition, dehydration, and debility due to severe nausea and vomiting, and may cause long-term health issues for mom and baby.

 I have had it in 2 of my 3 pregnancies. It was far worse during my 3rd pregnancy. I was severely ill from 4 weeks of pregnancy up until the day after recovery from my c-section. I threw up 40+ times a day. I threw up not just food and liquids, but also acid, bile, and blood. I was a on picc line, and ended up going in for 3 picc line placements. I was on home health care. I was in the hospital every week for months to go in for fluids when I didn't have a picc line.

 I rarely left home. I was isolated a lot. I had to take an emesis bag whenever I left anywhere. One time my husband tried to get me out of the house, because i was crying and feeling so trapped, he hooked me up to my IV in the car and took me for a drive, but all I could do is throw up. I often couldn't handle being in the car. Many times when I drove myself to dr appointments I would throw up while driving. I would need change of clothes because this also meant that many times I lost control of my bladder, too.

I had side effects from medications.

 HG takes it toll financially, physically, emotionally, mentally, it's a dark night of the soul for 9 months. It took its toll on my other kids, my husband. My teenager often expressed his fear that I would die when he saw me at my worst. My 3 year old was always there to try and take care of me and sometimes was mad at me for not playing with her and being the mom I was before HG. HG hurts not only the mom, but her family, too.

 I had an OB that didn't take my HG as seriously as she should have and I ended up having to make a switch to a different OB that had a greater understanding and compassion for moms with HG. It made a lot of difference in my care. The stress I had before switching was overwhelming and it broke my heart, but that's a story in itself. Point is a doctor or midwife that understands it is crucial in helping HG moms get through it.

 I have complications from the aftermath of HG. I continued to have nausea and vomiting for a month after my baby was born, and I had to have emergency gallbladder removal surgery a month after my csection...during a pandemic, alone. I have major dental problems that I'm getting ongoing treatment for. I have PTSD, PPD/PPA. I am 3 months postpartum and still struggle with food, what I eat, and fear of eating.
HG doesn't discriminate. It affects pregnant women of any age, race, and it doesn't matter if you're having a boy or a girl.


 18% of women meet full criteria for PTSD and more will struggle with symptoms for years, even decades.
 
 1 in 3 babies does not make it to term.

 80% of families suffer negative psychosocial impact.
​
Babies face a 4-fold increase in neurodevelopmental diagnosis

 This is the condensed version of my story and facts about HG.
During my pregnancy I made multiple videos and blogs about my life with HG. Some of it is going to be used for an upcoming international documentary about HG being produced by the HER Foundation. They sent me these shirts as a thank you for my contribution to the doc. I'm thankful to be a part of it and be a voice for women with HG.

 Learn more about HG at hyperemesis.org

 Here's the  link  to all of my HG blogs and videos I made.

 I haven't covered my postpartum journey and aftermath, because it's overwhelming to me emotionally, but today I really wanted to share my voice., my story.

 I am a survivor. My two daughters are survivors. We are TougHGirls.

#hg #hyperemesisgravidarum #HGAD2020 #2020HGvision #raiseyourvoice #tougHGirls #postpartum #fourthtrimester #hgsurvivor #maternalhealth #pregnancy #globalhealth #highriskpregnancy #ptsd #postpartumdepression #hyperemesissisterhood #hgmom #hyperemesissucks

 When William was about 4 years old I got him a butterfly kit from INsect Lore. We had so much fun with it, and we took the butterflies up to one of our favorite spots in the mountains. It's a sweet memory that William stills recalls. 

 I decided it'd be fun to do a month long butterfly study unit with Clara this spring. We were successful in raising 19 of 20 caterpillars into butterflies. Now she wants to grow ladybugs, praying mantis, and more butterflies. 

 This is likely to become a fun tradition in the spring and summers as the girls grow up.