Having “The Talk” with William William has been asking for a sibling for years. It hasn’t been easy on my heart to see him be an only child, and all the times he has asked me about the chance of having a little brother or sister, and always telling him, that it just wasn’t the right time, or that it may not ever happen was never easy to do. He is a sweet boy, with a big heart. When we told him that we were going to try to have a baby, he was so excited; like really, really excited. There were many hugs, and questions. Yep, those questions. I have given him the basics over the years, little talks, but he is a bit older now, loves science, and has always been inquisitive, so this time around our conversation was quite a bit more in depth. Off to the library we went. We picked out a bunch of books on pregnancy and babies. The pictures and design of the books were so easy for me to use in explaining things to him. The conversations lasted almost a week, questions poured in, and each time I kept it as open and comfortable as I could for him, knowing that although he is interested, he was also slightly embarrassed when talking about the “s” word. If you want to check out the books we think are awesome out of all the ones we borrowed from the library, they are Pregnancy Day by Day and the Pregnant Body Book, both published by DK. We also used a few You Tube videos that showed quick videos of some of the things we talked about, and watched a National Geographic documentary about how babies grow from conception to birth. Of the funniest and most candid things William declared to me was, “don’t tell me when you guys do the “s” stuff. I am just going to watch cartoons. Yuck. I can’t believe you have to do that.” Which I explained back that I would not share that with him, and that thought never crossed my mind, laughing a bit as I said it. The conversation didn’t end there though. He went on to say, “well I guess since you guys are married now it is okay if you do the “s” stuff, but only to make a baby right? I don’t have to do that when I get older unless my wife and I want a baby, right? Because I think it’s gross, and should only have to be something you do when you make a baby. Why did God have to make it that way? “ My response, holding in my feeling of laughter at his cuteness and little pre-teen boyishness, was, “well, grownups have sex sometimes before they are married, and even when they are not trying to make a baby. It’s great to wait until you are married and really know you love the person you are with, and God, according to the Bible made sex for a man and woman that love one another after they get married, after they make a promise to cherish and respect one another. Sometimes, often nowadays, that is not the case. Lots of people have sex before marriage, but what I want you to remember is that when the time comes for you, and you feel ready, I want you to ask yourself some questions first.” His face looked grossed out, but he was intrigued, and asked what he is supposed to ask himself. I explained that the time may come when he is a teenager, maybe 16, maybe 19, maybe 20, and that some kids are starting far too early, even younger than 16, so it is important to make sure you are ready for an adult decision, because sex is a big choice.
At that point I could see on his face that this was a lot to absorb and think about. He is eleven, but I try to be honest with him, and understand his level of understanding certain topics. This is a boy that is still not sure if he believes Santa is real or not yet, a boy with a wonderful imagination, a boy that is still a kid, a child I have not forced to grow up too fast, but that I want to prepare for the world too. We talked some more over this week, and I was impressed with how well he did learning and opening up about this conversation. I also got a kick out his faces, oh the faces he gave me during some parts of the conversations we had. Priceless. Also, true to who he is, a sweet and caring boy, he asked me as we were walking into Fred Meyer to grocery shop, “mom, I know it hurts girls to have babies, I mean I can’t even picture how that must feel, and I think you are brave, but does it hurt when the sperm is swimming in your fallopian tube or tries to get into your egg? Can you feel your egg? Can you feel when that happens? I don’t want you to hurt.” Which I answered with a hug and told him he is so sweet and caring, and no I cannot feel when the sperm tries to get in the egg, but that some women can feel some cramps similar to periods when the egg has been fertilized and is trying to implant in the uterus, but it is not painful, and most women don’t even know when that is happening, unless they are really tuned in, and keeping track every day. He looked relieved and then asked if he could go check out the toys and electronic aisles while I shopped. I can’t say it is easy to have these conversations. He is my baby boy, but he is growing up, and so all I can do is be gentle in responding, offer guidance from a loving viewpoint as well as a life science/ sex ed perspective, and hope that I keep the lines of communication open with him, because it’s so important for kids to know that parents have their backs, and that they can come to them with anything. In being open with him, our bond feels that much stronger, and he is totally interested in learning what is happening with the baby’s development day by day, which is really fun to talk about, and daydream with him what the baby will be like, or hear his thoughts about what it will be like to be a big brother. One thing I can say is that William is going to be an awesome big brother, and I have no doubt he will be a good dad when he is older…hopefully at like 30. ;) P.S. At the time of writing this I didn't have a positive pregnancy test, a s it was too early yet, but I could sure feel the symptoms hitting fast, and knew it. ;)
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Polihale Beach is a state park. It is a 7 mile-long beach and over 100 acres. You have to drive to the end of the road on the island, aka HWY 50, then get on a dirt road, and although four wheel drive is recommended, we got by on it, but then again we are use to going off the beaten path. The dirt road is around 5 miles distance to the beach, and also has very sandy spots, we about got stuck twice, and didn't have 4WD....make a note, some rental car companies have made it illegal to drive a rental car on the rutted road, and it floods, so at times you may not be lucky enough to get on the dirt road to it. By remote, we mean vast, no tourists, and so dang hot that you better keep your toes close to the water, but be careful even then, because the water is deep from the get go, and the current is for the brave and experienced (or maybe dumb, by your viewpoint, either way the water is known to be treacherous), even then it didn't feel right to just jump in. This is a sacred place in Kauai. If we hadn't known that, the energy was there, it was strong enough to feel, probably as much as the deep waves crashing at our feet, which by the time Jessica had walked barefoot a quarter mile across the sand from where we parked, her poor feet were red and blistered, so the (warm) turquoise water was soothing. *** Watch to the end, it's not easy learning hawaiian words. ;) This beach has gold sand, it is smooth and soft, if it wasn't so hot, you would want to just lay on it. The view is stunning and mystical. You feel like a spec on this beach, like a grain of sand, alone, small, and yet so embraced in the wild. This is the kinda beach that gets deep down in your soul, and doesn't leave. We can say it is lasting impression, but truly this is a place on the planet that if you want to do some soul searching, relax, connect, and be at the end of Earth, this is where you go. This is where you find wild inside of you, and the wild between sand, sun, and sea. This beach is majestic with ancient ties to Hawaiian history. It has sand dunes, some reaching 100ft. The water is clear, and crashes against the Na Pali cliffs. Kauai is paradise, but if you want more than paradise, get inspired to take the road to the end of not only Kauai, but what feels like the end of the planet. We are in love with Polihale. Aloha!
More from day5: Salt POnd Beach and Waimea Canyon To see more of our trip check out this category: http://www.allisonattitude.com/blog/category/boise-to-kauai Photos from google searches. 6 days to go! We leave at the crack of dawn on August 8th, and we cannot wait for that first step into the Boise airport. The excitement for Hawaii is building in our home. Daydreaming about ocean breezes, toes in the sand, smell of flowers, fresh fruit picked right from the trails we will be on, and fresh fish to eat, the adventurous activities we have planned, and of course getting married! We have our activities booked. We will be seeing the Smith's Family Luau the night of our wedding. We are going on a north shore adventure that includes offroading through mud and trails of a canyon in an ATV, hiking to waterfalls, and finishing off with two ziplines. We will take an exhilarating ride in a fast moving raft through caves along the Napali Coast from Hanalei. You know the gorgeous coastline featured in Jurassic Park? Yeah, that coastline, gorgeous! William and Jessica are tossing around the idea of taking a surfing lesson, but first we have to shake off the idea of being shark bait. We will all snorkel in the waters of Anini Beach. Which we prepared a little for with a lesson from Dive Magic in Boise. William is talking constantly of how cool it will be to swim with sea turtles, and Jessica is filled with anticipation to see and photograph Dolphins. Have you ever explored and vacationed in Hawaii? Have any fun stories or tips you would like to share with us? We would love to hear from you in the comments. Have a fantastic day! Thanks for staying tuned in and reading our blog. :)
Summer School will be loads of fun this summer with my (not so little anymore) Idaho William. We picked up a couple ukuleles from Dunkley Music in Boise, and checked out some chord and music books from the library. We also have started watching Youtube videos about how to play the ukulele. We will be learning to play Somewhere Over the Rainbow and It's a Wonderful World. We watch this video every day too, and every single time I listen to it my eyes swell up with tears. It fills my heart up with love, or as it would be said in the islands it fills William and I with the Aloha spirit. These songs have always done that to me. My sweet boy wants to learn to play these songs. When I was very little I had a music box that played Somewhere Over the Rainbow, and I played with it all the time,and carried around with me, and to school during Kindergarten and first grade. One of my grandfather's favorites songs was What a Wonderful World. I am excited to learn to play these songs with William, and that my eleven year old wants to do a duet with me. We picked up a set of audio discs from the library to learn how to speak Hawaiian. So far it is pretty challenging, and we are planning to learn at least a few words and phrases. We have begun Google searching authentic Hawaiian food recipes, and will decide on a couple things we want to make. We are almost halfway through the book Kauai Tales by Frederick B. Wichman. It's eighteen stories related to Kauai's history, phenomena, and mythology. William and I read a little of it each day, and he writes the stories when we are finished reading. He is really looking forward to seeing the Sleeping Giant when we go on an adventure expedition. We also bought a travel book to learn about the island, become familiar with maps, make a list of things we would like to do and see while we are visiting Kauai. We also have some other books to learn about plants, animals, and the ocean life around the island. Starting today we have picked up where we left off last summer with learning about Idaho's Craters of the Moon, and are learning about the volcanoes of Hawaii. Then we will build a volcano. I spotted a bag of Kauai coffee at the grocery store, and although it's not my typical organic coffee, it is soooo yummy. I don't think we will want to leave the island once we get there. Idaho William may have to become Hawaii William. ;) Aloha, Jessica and William |
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