Our Conscious Conception Preparation
The time is finally here. I say finally because not only did I wait years to be able to marry Jack, but years for us to grow our family too. Our oldest, William, is 11 now, and my ovaries and heart have been yearning for a second child for a long time. However, the timing was not ever right for us, until now.
In spite of our age gap, and the age gap between Jack and our soon to be little bundle of joy that is now a bundle of cells forming inside me, and the age gap between William and his soon to be little sister or brother, in spite of my health issues, and Jack’s previous heart surgery, we feel we are at the right time to conceive. I can’t say exactly how people come to the feeling of a huge life decision like this being the “right time,” but it just is for us. There was a lot we got through to get here, and yeah there could be some other factors that could be more ideal, like having my house sold already and moved into a house that will support our growing family, and stronger finances, but we are both on the same page about the timing, and so here we are.
We began talking about kids in spring this year. Jack has joked around numerous times that he wants 4. I am beginning to think it’s not a joke, but I hope it is. I just don’t think I have it in me to go at this 4 more times, but once more, definitely. I adore my friends that have big families, and I like seeing big families, but whew!
To support us in thinking positive and healing thoughts I bought us a program from Hypno -Babies. It came with ten tracks to listen to. 8 for me, 2 for him. His were based on self-hypnosis and affirmations for visualizing healthy sperm, vitality, and fertility. Affirmations such as, “My sperm are strong swimmers. My sperm are normal with oval heads and long tails. I easily release vibrant and healthy sperm. I release at least 30 million healthy sperm every time I ejaculate.” He laughed a bit at it, and said to me, “I will listen a couple times, but I already know I have the best swimmers.” He did listen a couple times, and that was it, and although I laughed at his reaction, I also appreciate his confidence and belief in himself, not just with this, but in pretty much all he does.
My tracks were broken into four parts that each included tracks for self-hypnosis and affirmations too. These are arranged as focus on healthy and balanced hormones, period, ovulation, and conception. They included affirmations such as, “I love my beautiful body. I take responsibility for everything I create in my life. I appreciate the purpose of my period. I love my blood. It flows easily and gently to cleanse my uterus. I am worthy of a fertile body. My egg naturally accepts a healthy sperm to unite with. I allow my uterus to accept and support this new life. I allow my uterus to love and nurture this new life.” And many, many more. I really enjoyed the entire program. Self- Hypnosis is not like some ability to “go under,” or to be under some spell or something wild. It is really a very relaxed state of mind. During the self-hypnosis tracks I fell asleep often, but when I used the affirmations tracks I would listen to them during walks or chores. It’s more like a meditation, if you are more comfortable with that word over self- hypnosis. I found the affirmations to be supportive, even after making love, because I would lie there, most of the time with my feet up on the wall, and think about the affirmations. I thought positive thoughts, and focused my thoughts on love and to visualize creation.
If you would like to know more about Conscious Parenting there is a great lecture by Bruce Lipton, free, on You Tube. He is a brilliant scientist, and studies a field of science I am fascinated by, epigenetics. The first book I read by Bruce Lipton was back in 2008, and it was a confirmation to my “hippie” beliefs as some people closest to me teased about time to time. Anyways, Jack, William, and I watched this lecture during this “open window” time for me. I knew Jack would appreciate it, as he is usually interested in learning new things, especially about science, and I always invite William to keep his mind open, exploring, and learning, so he watched too. Here is the the video we watched below. It’s about conscious parenting, and how thoughts and beliefs, even prior to conception affect conception, fertility, and the development and well-being of a growing baby from conception on.
The question parents to be get asked a lot: Are you hoping for a boy or girl?
Furthermore on focusing on being aware of my own body during this time, I also focused on prayer and connecting with the energy and soul of the child I wished to welcome. This is something I will continue to do throughout pregnancy. I believe that making that connection, even this early on, is highly beneficial. There are many beliefs around the world, and even in science, such as in epigenetics, which focus on the power of thoughts and prayer, even with the unborn child during conception and throughout pregnancy. I have had too many dreams to count of my daughter (in my dreams) reaching out to me. A couple years after I had given birth to William I began having many dreams of her, and the timing was never right to welcome her physically. Some dreams felt so vivid that when I woke up the energy around me felt very real. For some, this is just dreams and not significant. That is ok. I understand and respect that. However, for me, there is a very real feeling and pull to have this child, it’s very energetic, and feels very certain, even well before planning on conceiving this baby. From the numerous dreams of this child being a girl, and based on the energy I feel now, I trust that we will discover I am pregnant with a girl. However, on another note, I am going to be just as happy with a boy too!
When I was pregnant with William, I had the same thing happen, and I knew I was having a boy, and I dreamed about him long before I conceived him. I was not surprised to find out that he was a boy at my 20 week ultrasound. Although he wasn’t a planned baby, and I was on birth control during the time I got pregnant, I can recall the details and feelings I had then. This next baby, I may find that I am pregnant with a boy, and learn some other significance to the little girl in my dreams. That is totally fine with me. Besides, I have a boy and I love raising him, we have a wonderful bond. Ultimately, as any parent will tell you, and what I truly care about the most is that we have a healthy baby.
As I write this I am 4 weeks along, and I am over the moon, over joyed, and I can’t wait to meet my baby next summer. Until then I will continue to send love to her, think healthy thoughts, and send prayers to nourish my soul and hers, or his. Jack is excited and calls me his little momma bear and I love how endearing that feels. Jack is hoping for a boy to carry his name on, but like me, will be happy with either gender, and is only praying for a healthy baby. William is head over heels already. He rubs my belly, and hugs my belly, and talks to the baby, even though he says, “I know it’s only a ball of cells moving around, but I love my little brother or sister already, and I want them to know that.” He melts my heart. The other day when William came home from his weekend with his dad, he said he was so excited thinking about the baby that he began to Google topics about what’s good and bad during pregnancy. He promptly told me I need to not get stressed about stuff, and that he would help me with anything I need. Seriously, I am one blessed momma already, and now I am going to be doubly blessed. My heart is full.
P.S.!!! I cannot wait to spill the beans. Writing about our experience so far is helping me to wait it out, but I just don't think I can wait until end of the first trimester to tell everyone about baby Allison!
Grab some tissues.
This is a beautiful video showing a young, engaged couple what they will look like as they age, and what they realize as they see the progression of aging. Not only is it fantastic makeup, but a fun, emotional, and beautiful conversation and expression between the couple. In an age where it is easier to throw away and buy new, to get mad and walk away, rather than fix a problem, this is endearing to watch. How fortunate to grow old together, even more fortunate to love and accept one another through everything life gives and takes over the years. Committing, forgiveness, love, honesty, loyalty, and communicating is part of marriage,these things will make it or break it, and marriage is not for those that have a "replacement" outlook.
As a slightly older couple than these two, with a bigger age gap, it was still very sweet to watch, and to make us think about growing old together, what we have already faced, and what is to come in the future.